An ivory tower that touches the moon

So, intrepid commenter Roxie requested that I make a post about my burning hatred for the University of Phoenix. I was thinking, ok, that shouldn’t be so hard, because oh man I very, very much have a deep burning hatred for that hamsterfucking shit pile of an organization.

I mean I said I’d arch them if I were an arch villain, but I’m pretty sure they’re already arching me through my Hotmail account.

That’s mostly why I hate them–I can’t go day of my existence without hearing about how much I should pay goo gobs of money to get one of their shitty degrees. I just want them to leave me alone.

Hotmail used to have this nifty feature where you could block particular words from the messages of email you recieve (is this statement dating me? I’m old ok) and it was quite handy. I’m pretty sure it’s gone for strategic reasons–namely–hotmail makes money off of the seething rage I feel whenever I get a new email from The University of Phoenix. They don’t want me to be able to block that particular string of words, and probably also the words “viagra” and “Nigeria.” They are crafty bastards–making me feel like I might be giving my solicitors a hint when I send their garbage into the junk mail folder, when in fact those ass faces will just send me more mail with a different email address. I even emailed the University of Phoenix one time asking them how they’d like it if I spammed the crap out of their email advertising for a worthless degree program. “Hey come get your degree at Anusclown U, it might look good on your job application if your potential hiring employer has been living in a two story burrito bag all these years and doesn’t realize we’re a diploma mill.” Then the shoe would be on the other foot.

I suppose if Hotmail retained that nifty feature I’d just get emails from “The Institution of Higher Learning named after a reborn mythical bird,” and then when I block that, other variations concocted with the use of a thesaurus. I try to get back at hotmail by putting all emails from them and microsoft into the junk folder but it’s wise to my ways and never blocks itself.

They also suck because they discriminate by favoring Mormons for jobs, and they’ve had all sorts of other lawsuits and such. I got the former information from a radio show and the latter from wikipedia. Yes blow me.

Anyway, maybe some people get their degrees there, and it’s not a diploma mill, and the words “University of Phoenix” on one’s resume does not result in automatic relegation to the circular file. Whatever. I don’t care. I just want them to quit fucking emailing me, and I will keep talking shit about them until they do.