An ivory tower that touches the moon

The last post I made on this was basically incoherent bullshit, but the commenter with the review about whether the movie is “lesbian friendly” made me think about it more. It’s true when I first saw the trailer I thought the movie would be a great setup for two chicks who were always best friends but are marrying dudes realizing they’d really prefer to marry each other. Even if they went through the whole angry wedding day shebang for the lulz and then at the end decided their anger wasn’t really because of the wedding day, it was because of their pent up sexual frustration for each other, it’d be more interesting.

Instead, it’s a vehicle for the message that no matter how much two women might seem like “friends,” in the end they are all harpies who would rip out each others’ still-filtering kidneys and eat them over the real important things–men and marriage.

That’s why the whole thing is sickening to me. The fact that some screenplay writer out there seriously fuckin’ thinks this is how women are, and that enough people also think that for this movie to make $21.1 fuckin million dollars. I wish I could take a shit all over a piece of paper, have it produced, and make $21.1 million dollars. Yeah, I do feel that way about 99% of movies, but this one has a special place in my angry heart.

No I didn’t see it–I am not contributing to the $21.1 fucking million dollars this movie has made. I don’t HAVE to see it. I can tell you all about it from the trailer.

Even if it’s not about “all women,” the whole “lol women are each other’s worst enemy” stereotype just stinks like a fart in the shower. Women aren’t generally a hive of mentally-deficient bees with occasional exceptions who don’t hop on the materialism bandwagon, it’s a bullshit stereotype that too many people believe. I hope this stereotype would die out like a fart in the ocean, but it won’t if people keep eating it up like baked beans at a barbecue. Ok that fart motif could not continue any farther. I guess with the popularity of all the “lol look at these dum bitchz” wedding shows on TV, “Bride Wars” was only a matter of time.

I really honestly believe that the whole bridezillas thing is all Jerry Springerized too–I do not believe there is a woman alive about to get married who acts like that all the time. At least I don’t believe it’s possible without her friends and family telling her to go piss up a rope and then take a long walk on a short pier. I’m pretty sure being on bridezillas must be lucrative somehow, and everyone involved just goes along with it for the money.

This brings me to yet another opportunity to plug Sarah Haskins:

I can’t even be funny about those shows (not that I’m ever funny, but, you know) because they repulse me so much. I’d probably start talking about them and then barf all over my monitor. The idea of destroying Tokyo in a wedding dress does amuse me, though. Have I posted this and said that before? Oh well. I have no room in my brain to remember these things.