This is why we’re nuts
This is a conversation I had with my husband before he went to bed. (He went to bed earlier because the company he works for apparently does not appreciate what Martin Luther King Jr. did for all of America and does not permit its employees to reflect upon it with a day at home).
“Goodnight <husband’s name>.”
“Are you mad at me? You called me by my name! You never call me by my name!”
“What? I don’t? What?”
“Yeah, you usually call me something else, poop or something, I dunno!”
I just started laughing at this point.
“I’m not mad! I have to call you by your name, are you kidding?”
“No, it’s like your parents calling you by your full name! They only do it when mad!”
“Ok! I won’t call you by your name anymore. Goodnight, POOP.”
“Poop is better than my name.”
“It is not!”
“I’m gonna get my name legally changed to Poop!”
“No! You can’t!”
“Yes!”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“No!”
And so on and so forth for a while, until I said:
“Fine, then I’m getting my name legally changed to Pee!”
“Hah! Then when a friend introduces us, he can be like, here are my friends–Poop and Pee! They’re married!”
More laughter.
“Goodnight, poop.”
Then I left for the internets and bloggings.
Hardcore sports fans need to realize something
Too often have I farted around various sports forums when a previously shithholish team (e.g. Tampa Bay, AZ Cardinals) makes it to the big show, only to see the “real fans,” the “hardcore fans,” the fans who have stuck it through the years and years of disappointing, sub-par seasons, piss and moan about all the new bandwagon fans. They hate the fact that others are enjoying this success when they hadn’t put in their time beforehand.
I feel quite the opposite. If I’ve liked a team that draws a crowd which consists of one church group that does the wave the whole time, they suddenly start going somewhere and games are selling out, that’s awesome. Bandwagonners are how a team develops a hardcore fan base. People who just became Tampa Bay and Cardinals fans this year are either going to drop off when they don’t win it again next year, or will become fans for a good long time. In order for the team to give YOU more enjoyment, the ownership NEEDS these bandwaggoners turned hardcore fans in order to build their revenue base and continue bringing a quality product for years to come.
The stupid Marlins are the one exception to this because that whole team is a scam where the owner could give a fig if he gets 5 people to the games because he makes money from playing the revenue tax game, but that’s a story for another hour and probably the two people who read this blog would stop reading it immediatley should I rant about it.
I guess what I’m saying is, don’t scoff at the bandwaggoners. Don’t tell the suddenly-excited newbs visiting your message boards to fuck off and die, embrace them. You may have been a fan since ‘78, but in 2038 these people will be there to chest pound about how they’ve been fans since 2008, and no one’s penis gets any longer depending on how long he or she has patronized a particular sports franchise, BELIEVE ME. I’d been a fan of one particular baseball team practically since I was born, and I don’t even have a penis yet. True story.
